Wanna be more than a pretty girl.

I have never in my life seen 'The L Word,' but this transcript makes me want to.

Backstory: Mark is Jenny and Shane's roommate. He also gets off on voyeurism. In this case, he indulged his kink via setting up cameras on Jenny and Shane, who are lovers, and taping their activities unbeknownst to them.

They found out.

'Mark: "I wish so much that there was something I could do."
Jenny: [cutting him off] "No, I don't think there's anything you can do. I think you did it."
Mark: "When I moved in here, I was the type of guy who was capable of doing shit like this. But I am not that guy anymore. I know that I've said it before, but you and Shane have made me a better man."
Jenny: "Oh, fuck off, Mark. It's not my job to make you a better man, and I don't give a shit if I've made you a better man. It's not a fucking woman's job to be consumed and invaded and spat out so that some fucking man can evolve."'

This soundbite, y'all, is feminism at its core. Let me repeat that statement:

It's not a fucking woman's job to be consumed and invaded and spat out so that some fucking man can evolve.

*That* is why people object to Women in Refrigerators Syndrome. That is why people object to the male gaze, to T&A to the exclusion of all else, up to and including humanity.

It's *not my job* to exist for You, Generic Straight Male.

I exist for *me*.

'But Mark keeps going: he says that through his mistake, he has learned how difficult it is to be a woman. Jenny and I both scoff at this. So just to prove that he's as extreme as Jenny, Mark takes off his clothes.

Jenny: "What are you doing?"
Mark: "Is this what you want?"
Jenny: "No. [throws a pen at him] What I want you is for you to write 'Fuck Me' on your chest. Write it. Do it. And then I want you to walk out that door and I want you to walk down the street. And anybody that wants to fuck you, say 'sure, sure, no problem.' And when they do, you have to say 'thank you very, very much.' And make sure that you have a smile on your face. And then, you stupid fucking coward, you're gonna know what it feels like to be a woman."''

I kinda want to print that statement out and staple it to various comicsy people's heads.

But. No, no, that "Fuck Me" sign isn't quite *enough* to understand what being a woman means right here, right now.

Jenny's talking about women as "the sex object" in order to make her specific point. But she left out stuff. Wearing that sign, dealing with those effects, isn't enough to make someone understand what it feels like to be a woman. She left out the bits about wondering "Okay, can I afford to walk to my car alone? It's dark out."

Or how about "If I leave my drink unguarded, am I going to wake up naked with no memory of what happened?"

Or there's always "If I wear this shirt, am I going to have men catcalling at me?"

"If I don't wear makeup to work, will I still get tips?"

"If I go to this Take Back The Night rally alone, am I sufficiently well-armed to drive off an attacker on my walk back to the dorm?"

"Is this man someone who will attempt to drag me down that alley and assault me?"

"Is this straight male friend someone who will at some point expect me to have sex with him? If I say no, how badly will he react? Will it involve rape?"

"If I walk down this road, will I have people yelling commentary about my body and/or sexual proclivities at me?"

"If I take this job, will I be paid the same amount as my male co-worker who does the same work?"

And that's just for straight white women. Let's add in being, say, black and see what happens.

"If I talk to this white person, are they going to put their hands in my hair and ask if it's real/how I achieve this effect/how much my hair costs to maintain?"

"If I talk to this white person, are they going to be shocked at how well-educated my speech is?"

"If I talk to this white person, are they going to be surprised that I'm not a single mother or on drugs or both?"

"If I talk to this black person, are they going to say that I'm not 'really' black because I use American Standard English?"

How about Asian?

"If I date this man, will he expect me to be the stereotypical submissive Asian woman? How badly will it go when he finds out I'm not?"

"Does this person find me attractive because of my personality, or because he has an Asian fetish?"

Indian?

Pakistani?

Hispanic?

Getting the point yet?

Now let's add gay.

"If I bring my girlfriend to this party at work, will I still have a job tomorrow?"

"If I wear a rainbow shirt to class, will I have people following me to beat me up afterwards?"

"If I tell my parents that my roommate is really my girlfriend, will they disown me?"

For a woman-specific question, try this one I asked myself once:

"If I tell this man who's hitting on me that I have a girlfriend, is he going to ask if he can watch?"

This topic is depressing. I want to go back to my Shiny Happy Fun-Time Hobby and stop thinking about sexism and racism and heterosexism. Like, say, American superhero comics.

-- Oh, wait. It's there TOO. Because heaven forbid I have my own power fantasy where I am not a sex object, not a second-class citizen, where I have the privilege of not having to deal with this shit.